wakin’ up is the hardest part.

hello dolls! finally! a blog my faithful companions can actually comment! i’m amazed, i have my friends  tiffany and josh who inspired me to take a second look at wordpress. i’ve found a way around having to change my whole site around just to have wordpress work as a simple blog on my site for now at least. so i am pretty excited all i really wanted was a blog not a CMS. so that is that.

i feel as if i haven’t blogged in forever, in reality i guess i haven’t. it has been a month, and a lot has happened within that month, over christmas i diagnosed myself as clinically depressed due to an outrageously broken heart. it was the worst feeling i have ever experienced, a feeling i know nothing can feel worse than. even the thought of death approaching felt calming. i was broken in every sense of the word, i would wake up in a completely different persona than my usual bubbly self, i was down and out looking for anything and everything to set me off, either in a relentless rage or a convulsive cry. all of this the untimely result of the eighth world wonder, my love, proposing to his girlfriend. i never knew how deeply i felt for him until i found out he had bought her a ring in early december. i was numb to all i felt for him until that very moment where i nearly collapsed in front of all my co-workers and customers at work. i was sent home early for my duress.

now is better. at times i still feel the pain, the sorrow. tears well and my breath stops at the thought of him with her forever. i’m trying to distract myself with various activities, in the faint hopes that something will work out for me at least once in my life. i’d be forever thankful.

in less heart wrenching news, i was supposed to start my last semester of high school last tuesday, but i’ve been out since for snow days. we get out tomorrow as well. i’m not looking forward to starting my last semester of high school. i wish it was already over. i can hardly stand the immature bull that goes on in our redneck school. it’s utterly unbearable. honestly.

any cowboys fans reading this? aren’t you excited that our boys from dallas are blazing away at ending losing streaks and handing opponents shut outs? i sure am! i am also ecstatic that Miles Austin is getting his time to shine finally. i know you can all vouch for me when i say i discovered his talents before everyone else. i also recall telling you all last year around pro bowl selection time that Miles would be a pro bowler someday, guess what. Miles got his first pro bowl pick this year! i sure as heck voted for him, and i also think he should have gotten the turkey award on the thanksgiving day game, i voted for him along with 70% of the public to get it and Tony comes away with it? that’s cold. I love you Tony Romo, but Miles is my baby. ♥

to-do list for psmash due by 01/27
001. 250 new layouts (175 default, 20 skinny, 20 tabled, 25 tabbed, 10 icon)
002. 100 new icons
003. 50 new quote banners
004. 25 new psds
005. 25 new blends
006. 10 photoshop actions
007. fix profile 2.0 layouts, or ditch them and re-do. goal 100 2.0 layouts

think i can do it? (: