Archive for the ‘hopes’ Category

up all night.

Thursday, May 26th, 2011

alright, so i’m totally re-doing this blog. i had something completely different wrote, but i found it completely boring and felt bad for anyone that felt the need to read it so this will be take 2!
 
first off, as you might be able to tell i have completely re-coded the site, it took me 36 hours. plus the four or five days before that i spent making the new layout, but i feel that it was well worth it, and i do hope you feel the same way! i feel bad for my best friend, lee, who was with me the whole 36 hours, i pretty much forced him to watch the vampire diaries, but don’t let him lie to you… he loves it!
 
it was even his idea to stay up the other night while i coded, i came to a point at about 4am that i decided we should go to bed, and he was like ‘i’m not tired.’, so he watched vampire diaries and i kept coding, until i looked at the clock and it said 7am then i was like ‘we really should at least get a couple hours of sleep.’, and he was like ‘nah, we should just stay up! i’m going to get in the shower.’ so he went and did his thing, and i kept doing mine. then i got in the shower like 45 minutes later, because i had to wait until the water heated back up because he uses up all the hot water, jerk. haha.
 
so about an hour after we each got our respective showers, this dork ends up falling asleep for at least three hours! after his whiny butt wanted to stay up and i wanted to sleep! so after he wakes up he realizes he was supposed to meet our buddy, mike, like half an hour before, then we debated what i was going to do, because i had two other friends trying to get me to hang out with them, and the fact i wasn’t even close to finishing my site at the time, but i ended up being the good friend who takes his car-less, license-less butt to play basketball and then later to hardee’s for food. would you like to know how he repaid me? he disappeared at 1am last night. yeah… sweet, right? i figured he went off to his bed (which is a couch, lmao.) because he had been falling asleep all day, and when i went out to check he had vanished, no doubt getting our friend, justin, to pick him up. lmao.
 
the funny thing is he was basically begging me to write a blog about him, and i guess he won again because this blog is basically about him. that dork.
 
i do have a lot of new content up, i took all the stuff from my other site rock & redbeard and moved it here, because in the next week or so rock & redbeard is becoming my next project, i have an idea that i hope works out, and that everyone thinks is pretty cool. we will have to see how it goes!

honestly, my honesty.

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

dear friends, so much has gone on since we’ve last talked. including bad news, my laptop charger has croaked and since i lost my job in january, i do not currently have $50 dollars to shell out. so all my updating will have to be done via my old pc. which is why i still haven’t finished one font a nice visitor asked me to do, and there’s been no updates. no matter how slow my pc is i do promise to suffer through it for new content, and as far as the font i was working on if i still have it in my email account i will try to do it from my pc. if not and you see this please email it to me again! and for anyone else who wants fonts done email them to me via the contact form on my fonts page, or simply upload it and leave the link here or on facebook!

anyways, besides the technical complications there has also been personal complications, but everything is pretty much resolved at the moment! also my friend seth opened up a new site for his graphic design! he’s pretty awesome, and we still haven’t finished the sight, but his portfolio is open so check it out! seth @ imagination digital.

tagged!
my dear friend summer tagged me, so let’s give this a shot.

one. | i am obsessed with twitter. tweet me! @ohjemb.
two. | i do read. my favorite author is emily giffin and has been forever.
three. | i think that the vampire diaries is far better than twilight, and twilight is far better than true blood. just an opinion.
four. | i have only beat one video game in my life, and that was mary-kate & ashley: magical mystery mall. haha.
five. | i could eat ranch grilled chicken wraps every day of the rest of my life, and be a happy girl.
six. | i’m a cat person. i currently have two. cabrera ryan cabrera & t.i. shemar dicaprio.
seven. | i’m obsessed with the scream movies, i can recite 1-3 word for word, and haven’t yet decided if i like 4.
eight. | my favorite color is tangerine.
nine. | i love making new site friends, and helping people so if you want a new friend, affy, or need help. talk to me!
ten. | i’m starting college in the fall to study early childhood development.
 
i tag: kayla, dylan, faye, tiff, manny, nicole, sakura, kenzie, ashley, & seth.

update: i still had the font saved in my emails. thank gosh i rarely clean out my inbox! it is now done! download it here!

roll the dice and have some faith.

Monday, February 28th, 2011

acceptance is the first step for anything. no matter what your life throws at you, or how many times people knock you down, you have to accept what has happened. the past is the past and it cannot be changed. depending on how you view your future it’s either already set for you, or you choose the path you go down; either way things aren’t going to always go according to plan. you may expect one thing and get something completely different which can be a good thing or a bad thing.

when life gets to you and starts to break you down, take a step back and learn how to breathe through it. once you finally gain your composure, it’s a grand feeling. we all need to have a way to settle ourselves, a way to keep your mental and emotional health.

knowing what you want and what you need are completely different. you’re not always going to get what you want, but you will always get what you need one way or another.

as you can tell from my previous blogs, i’ve had a rough time lately. i’ve tried to take matters into my own hands to make my life better, and when that didn’t work i stopped trying so hard, and before i realized it good things were happening. i guess i have my best friend to thank indirectly, she started beauty school so now the time i was spending with her, i’ve been spending getting to know myself. which we all should get to do, because in the long run it helps with every problem that comes your way.

basically… all i’m saying is to keep your heads up, and have faith in yourself.

remember me. don’t forget me.

Sunday, February 6th, 2011

gotta love ben kweller!

so things are slowly starting to get better, nothing has changed, but i have had more time to sort through all my thoughts of everything that’s been going on. i’m trying to keep the site updated as much as humanly possible, so there should be lots more content randomly appearing soon. i am obsessed with this layout because, to me it reminds me of the old pastel smash days, i love that feeling.

so i just wanted to touch base on a couple of things, first of all i would like to admit, and am encouraging others to admit, that i’m obsessed with supernatural, i never got into the show until a couple of months ago, and now it’s the thing i look forward to monday-friday courtesy of tnt. (: if you are a supernatural superfan, who’s your favorite character. mine has to be sam, with dean followed very closely behind.

when i first started to watch it i thought dean was my favorite, until i had a dream about hanging out with sam and dean, but instead of throwing myself all over dean, i was totally infatuated with sam. lmao. speaking of dreams, i don’t know if any of you have experienced this before, but i would to mention that last night and quite frequently i have dreams that as cinderella would say are ‘a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep’.

these dreams really must be coming directly from my heart, because they are so true to what my heart knows, and what it wishes. waking up after a dream like that is instantly depressing. to have everything you want and need so perfectly presenting itself in dreamland, waking up is like you lost it all in an instant, in some cases losing at all again first in reality, then in your subconscious.

if you would like to make me smile by commenting, say whatever you like, or talk about your supernatural obsession, or even your experiences in dreamland. thanks for reading. ♥

where do i go from here?

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

Without You | Dixie Chicks

this month has been one of the worst of my semi-short life. i have lost a lot recently, i lost my boy for reasons unbeknownst to me, i lost my job, now i’m worried about losing my new kitten T.I. like i lost Gucci, I was planning on taking him to the vet this week so i can get him checked out and know he’s healthy so i don’t spend all my time worrying about losing him, too. since i lost my job the other day, i can’t because i have no money, i’m already $20 short on my car payment this month, and i only have a half a tank of gas to take me where i need to go, such as job searching. not to mention T.I. needs cat litter and is going through his cat food like there’s no tomorrow. to add to my stress, my parents and friends are on my case about taking college classes this fall. so basically i am completely stuck, i have no idea where to go from this point. to make it worse i feel like there is no one i can talk to who will actually listen and support me, i have only found one person in my 19 years on this earth that did that, and it took me 18 1/2 years to find him. now he’s gone with little to no explanation, definitely not anything that makes any sense.

now i’m so completely stressed about everything i keep making myself nauseous everyday with worry, literally. nothing seems to go right, this new layout i hate it. even after i kept it off the site for days to make sure it’s what i wanted on the site, but it’s on now and i hate it. really, i do. the only thing that keeps me semi-sane throughout the day is putting all my attention into the site, and the occasional snuggle with T.I. music is helping me a lot, as well, but all these are only temporary fixes.

off that subject…
how do you feel about online dating sites? i know some people that are on them, i never really asked how well it’s working for them, but i know we all have the slightest opinion about them. i’m not talking about the online booty call websites, but the people that put themselves online because they want a relationship. i always thought that if i put myself on one, some serial killer would find me and chop me up into bits and pieces, but i look at some of the people at Wal-Mart and say that as well. haha.
what is your opinion?

and you sang sail to me, sail to me.

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

alright. it’s time for some major site changes. (:

first off, i brought back the dropdown navigation. we will see how long that lasts, as long as it works for everyone and you guys know how to navigate the site it might stay. secondly, i’m more than seriously considering dropping all my myspace stuff. layouts, contact tables, comment boxes and everything specific to myspace. i’ll keep the graphics. i don’t know what use all the layouts are sitting here on the site. it really upsets me everything myspace has done to itself over the past years. it went from truly being a good contester against facebook to trying too hard and finally slitting its own wrists to slowly watch it’s users fail to care about it anymore. it’s insane how hard myspace is trying, not even just that i logged on for old times’ sake yesterday and was astounded at how slow it was. it makes me sad to think of the summer days i spent many years ago learning how to code so i could make myspace layouts, and now here i am about to trash my hundreds of layouts because there is no point in re-learning myspace code AGAIN, because they’ll just change it as soon as you get it down, and no one cares anymore.

it appreciate feedback on deleting the myspace content, it’s a huge decision.

in other news, saturday, january 22, is the third anniversary of heath ledger’s death. a sad day. i’d like it if you all took some time out of that day to remember heath’s amazing cinema presence by simply watching one of his movies. you won’t regret it.

like heath ledger days on facebook!?
 
i created this page myself to try to spread the heath ledger love throughout the world. basically ever since heath died, i take two days out of the year to remember him by watching his movies, the day of his death, january 22, and the day of his birth, april 4. i’m simply trying to spread the idea out there to other heath fans. i know there are many of us. (:

endless summer;

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

in this world we live in things can change by the second. this can be a good thing or a bad thing. we all have days that are just plain bad, but we also all have days that are so good you can’t stop thinking about them years down the road. it’s funny how your life can change in just one second, unknowingly you find yourself standing in front of something so unexpected, which can also be good or bad. you meet new people and though a lot of them will be people you wish you hadn’t met, there will surely be a few people who you will grow close to.

sometimes you might even find yourself falling head over heels for someone special, and the times you spend together will make the worst days good when you recall the memories you made. when you find the person that can make you smile in the worst times, keep them close. never take any time with them for granted, thank whatever mysterious force that brought you two together multiple times a day, happiness will soon follow.

wow, this was a really random blog, i wonder what has me thinking so deeply. haha.

let’s get out of the ‘love is all you need‘ portion of the blog, and into site updates. well, the past week or so has been crazy for me sitewise, i think i’ve put up like 3 new site layouts, and 60+ myspace layouts, a bunch of retouched photos and a handful of photoshop actions, and i still have a bunch more stuff i’d like to create and put up. i’m a busy bee, i guess. i’m also trying to balance work, family, friends, vacation planning, and more.  i would love to thank all of my lovely site go-ers, for commenting the last blog, and for applying to be affiliate, etc. it’s making the update process go smoothly.

liven up your day by clicking the big music link to the right, i’ve got some of my favorite songs of the moment on a playlist i would love for you to listen to, i’ve got a bit of everything rap, pop, rock. just give it a try, you might find something you like! (:

oh, colossal youth.

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

Pacing slowly back and forth
I just got scolded for the worst
Thinking to myself am i to blame?
Father tells me what to do
Mother tells me how to feel
These days i wonder if i’m alive

good news, everyone. i found a way to fix the 2.0 layouts, and i plan to do so as soon as possible! more good news, i’ve decided to not completely cease making myspace stuff, after all i have what i have today because of myspace, and i truly hope myspace doesn’t fail at the epic social networking battle. so as soon as i have time, which will probably be sometime next week (spring break!) i’ll be updating the site.

i’d like to thank all of you wonderful people for sticking with pastel smash all this time. i am truly thankful, and i only have high hopes for this site and my others as well. you all are my inspiration, so keep keeping my inspired and pastel smash will always be here for you.

music recommendations for this post: neon trees, the whigs, and moonpools & caterpillars. check them out.